It all started with a fridge…
Today is October 28th, 2025 at the time I am writing this.
Now why is this date signifcant? Because that means it’s been 28 days since Congress failed to pass a appropriations budget that would keep the “lights one” so to speak and continue to fund the government, and therefore it’s employees.
It’s been nearly 21 days since my husband last got pay, which was not even a complete paycheck, and only four days since he missed his first official paycheck and I truly became the sole income for our household. And in four days approximately 41.7 million people will no longer have vital benefits that keep food in their bellies because SNAP(Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program) will no longer be funded until the government re-opens, even though there are contingency funds to maintain the program.
Needless to say this entire experience has been a constant trigger for me as an adult who was working on accepting that a fridge can be full without needing every inch of surface area in my pantry and my fridge being covered as a way to ensure my children aren’t going hungry.
As a child, one who I’m sure was on SNAP, though I don’t know for certain, food insecurity is a huge trigger for me. I remember days living off fried bolagna until my mother got paid again to fill the fridge, but just barely. Sometimes making “grilled” cheese in the microwave because I would only use one slice of bread and one slice of cheese, nuk it for 10 second, just enough for the cheese to melt and the eat it fast enough that the bread wasn’t too hard to bite through but I also wasn’t burning my mouth.
There were days in which I wouldn’t eat because at the time I was a lock key kid also responsible for her brother. I would notice the amount of food left, and would opt to not eat to ensure my brother would never go without. So imagine now being the sole income for your family and you were already struggling with the trauma from your childhood. Trying to learn to be ok with not covering every surface inch, only now your safety blanket, aka my savings account, sits at $0. My checking account sits at $43 and some change and I don’t get paid for another week.
Needless to say it’s been humbling and also traumatic all rolled into one. Only to open social media and see the most vile things being said about those on SNAP. People practically cheering that CHILDREN will be going without, unless they are at school where their only meal will come from because their parent/guardian has to choose between food on the table, a roof over there head, and keeping the lights on and house warm as we enter winter.
Sure the parent/guardian will also sacrifice a meal to stretch the food even more and attempt to ensure the child won’t go without, but that isn’t sustainable and in many ways it’s harmful.
Someone’s food security and hunger insecurity should never be a pawn or a privilege, it should be a basic human right. Sure by the time you read this, the government has likely re-opened but don’t forget the days that passed where many never knew the next minuet let alone the next day.
America is suppose to be the greatest nation on earth, and yet we treat our women as a toy, our children as saint like until they are born, and basic human decency/rights as privileges.
Take a moment to think about that, while I go without a meal again tell my husband I’m not hungry and him likely not buying it but not calling me on it because he knows this is the only thing in my control at the moment and right now I crave some form of control while the rest of my life feels out of control.
