Football & Blow Jobs…
It’s Sunday Night Football as I write this post.
I can only imagine what your thinking but here me out because never did I imaging a drive with my husband would result in a blog being written while I’m watching the Vikings play against the Falcons
If you are curious, I’m not rooting for either, my team is the Kansas City Chiefs, and no it’s not because Taylor Swift, that’s just a perk. So why am I watching a game I care nothing about, because my husbands coworker and I give each other absolute shit during the season. If his team looses, he gets cupcakes with the team logo that played against them, thank you Walmart bakery.
I digress-prior to this game, my husband went on a drive to pick up dinner and I finally got brave enough to ask my latest curiosity/research question, does a man feel violated if he wakes up to receiving head?
I know, I know society would elude me to think that this is a crazy question because what man would feel violated, but as someone who experienced sexual assault, I genuinely wonder if book, movies, television, etc have skewed what men really find consensual or not. Are women given a pass because a man loves having their dick sucked?
Without fully putting my husbands preferences out for the world, which he did not ask for me to do, I will say this conversation only left me feeling even more incomplete but also content for the purposes and reasons I asked.
The reason being is based on our conversation, and thus I guess the conversation he has had with other men, the mindset is to just accept their fate because why shoo someone touching you when physical touch is the thing you want. Why shoo a sexual exchange away for the sake of your comfort? That is where I know my trauma trickled into the conversation because all I could think is “So you’ll just give in for the sake of a chance of it never happening? How is that consensual? When that happened to me I felt gross. I can’t fathom now doing that.”
So how did I feel content? Well the purposes of authorship and the scene I was writing, I felt semi-satisfied that what I was writing would be seen by the male population as normal, even if I still don’t agree with their reasoning. I will say, I would encourage anyone who wishes to do something to their partner while they are asleep, ask the questions when they are not and in the space to have the discussion.
If anything that is the one thing I took from this.
So yea this Sunday Night Football, had several balls in play and not just the brown one that is suppose to spiral through the air on a field.
XX,
Gretchen
